by, for, and about women in science, technology, engineering, & math

This is going to be a long post, and it’s more ruminations on this change happening in me, and some observations about how it isn’t really impacting my work or coworkers in any significant ways. Hope you don’t mind the rambling too much.

When I was a teenager I wore makeup every day, though I hardly dressed fashionably at school (usually tee shirts and jeans, or a dress shirt of my father’s that I stole ‘cos I like the way it was all drapey and loose). I also had my hair done, feathered with a perm. At one point I went crazy and bought a buncha neon clothes that were flashy and outlandish that I’d go out dancing in, but that was pretty much it.

As I got older, because of health reasons, I put on a lot of weight and some other things changed for me (all of which are a very long story), and I stopped wearing make up, stopped getting anything done with my hair and just let it grow out long and straight, stopped shaving entirely. My husband has always thought of me as beautiful (and thinks my shaved legs feel weird), so it was not that big a deal. It’s more natural feeling. I don’t like the feeling of a lot of make up, or the money it costs, or the time it takes to apply. I prefer putting my money into things like the latest Sims expansion, or some cool new gadget or a trip somewhere with my husband.

It took me some time and reassurance by my husband, but eventually I came to terms with how big I was. I was still pretty and very well proportioned, there was just a lot more of me and I was fine with that. At my highest weight, I was 330 lbs. I wore brightly colored caftans that I bought on ebay from Pakistan or Africa. I was never one of those people who wear black to disappear. :)

Three years ago we found out that gastric bypass surgery has like a 90% chance of resolving type 2 diabetes. We researched it very thoroughly and ended up getting mini gastric bypasses in Feb 2008 (my husband was type 2, as well, we both got our surgery on the same day). As a result of that, I lost around 130 lbs. So for the first time in a very long time I’ve been able to buy clothes off the rack, for cheap (which my frugal nature ADORES).

A little bit after that time I met a lovely woman who would eventually become engaged to our best friend. She’s very girly. Loves dressing in pretty clothes, is really sweet, and very encouraging. Since her wedding is coming up, and my husband will be best man and I will be officiating (another long story, that), I’ve been working on getting a very nice outfit for the wedding, and getting myself prettified so I don’t look my usual “nature gal” self.

I’ve started shaving my legs because I can actually reach them and I found a way to do it that doesn’t result in painful rashes (which was what I always used to get before). I’ve started looking at some other styles of pretty clothes, and I’ve bought a gorgeous dress that shows me off in interesting ways. I’m getting my hair styled for the first time in 18 years. I consulted with a woman who does make up on what would be a good “every day” look for me.

I painted my finger and toe nails!! I’ve actually bought some make up and I am, right now, wearing it (just mascara, liner, and lip gloss, no foundation)! This is all very odd for me. I wasn’t girly for the longest time, and I’m still unsure how I really feel about all this, but I do like some of the ways these things look on me.

One thing that’s amusing about all this is I keep going around and chatting about it with my coworkers, who are primarily male (but also with my female coworkers). I’m a programmer for a state agency, so we’re pretty laid back anyway.

I went into my boss’s office and said “Look! Nail polish!” and I just know inside there’s part of him going “uhm, so?” but he also gets that this is all very new for me, and weird, and he’s willing to let me ramble about the weirdness, so he just murmurs something amusing or appreciative. But what’s more, he just treats me the same anyway. Ok, so I’m going on about girly things he doesn’t really care about, but he still listens. I listen when he talks about hunting and fishing, too. :) We have enough in common to discuss that the occasional oddball thing cropping up isn’t that big a deal.

I’m just glad I’m in a situation where I can really change some significant things about myself, and the people around me just go with it, and support me with genuine friendliness.

I wish most people could have a working environment like that.